Streaking with Friends

I had not given a talk in Church for 13 years or more. Not that select Bishopric members had not tried to get me to do so.

When I was in the Young Single Adult ward, I watched one of the Councillors proceed through the hallway. I could see he was building a list of people who had not given a talk in Church for a while so that he could call on them.

The phrase speaking in Church is kind of odd, plus the way the Counselor was phrasing the question made it too easy to respond to.

“When was the last time you spoke in Church?” The Councillor asked.

“What are you talking about?” I responded. “I speak all the time.”

Years later, in a family ward, the Councilor kept calling when I was out of town or would be on the day they wished I could give a talk. I was willing to do it a different week, but it never came up.

Finally, one day the Bishop cornered me at Church. He was too smart to let me weazel out so easy so i picked a date to give a talk. I was told I had 7 minutes to speak on the topic of my choosing.

Shortly afterward, I was talking to a friend who attended the weekly meetings of the local Church leaders and I asked him if he was in on getting me to speak in Church. He misheard me and thought I said streak in Church.

“I’d rather do that!” I exclaimed. “It would take about 30 seconds to run around the chapel as opposed to 7 minutes up in front of everybody.”

“Let me know when you plan to do that.” My friend responded. “I’ll be sure to skip Church that day.”