I'm a man!

I have a co-worker where English is not his first language. Anyway, he told me that when he was in college that he said something really embarrassing.

Now when I do something awesome, instead of rhetorically asking who the man is or declaring that I was that man, I yell out what my co-worker had shouted accidentally.

Apparently, not quite grasping the language I guess, he exclaimed at the top of his lungs, that he was not the man but that he was a man! Oddly, he got a few funny stares.

Might have Joy

In 2 Nephi 2:25, it reads:

25 Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.

I thought it always meant that you would receive a body and experience the joy of having one.

Yesterday, I was struck that it was also a choice. You choose to have joy regardless of the circumstances.

Streaking with Friends

I had not given a talk in Church for 13 years or more. Not that select Bishopric members had not tried to get me to do so.

When I was in the Young Single Adult ward, I watched one of the Councillors proceed through the hallway. I could see he was building a list of people who had not given a talk in Church for a while so that he could call on them.

The phrase speaking in Church is kind of odd, plus the way the Counselor was phrasing the question made it too easy to respond to.

“When was the last time you spoke in Church?” The Councillor asked.

“What are you talking about?” I responded. “I speak all the time.”

Years later, in a family ward, the Councilor kept calling when I was out of town or would be on the day they wished I could give a talk. I was willing to do it a different week, but it never came up.

Finally, one day the Bishop cornered me at Church. He was too smart to let me weazel out so easy so i picked a date to give a talk. I was told I had 7 minutes to speak on the topic of my choosing.

Shortly afterward, I was talking to a friend who attended the weekly meetings of the local Church leaders and I asked him if he was in on getting me to speak in Church. He misheard me and thought I said streak in Church.

“I’d rather do that!” I exclaimed. “It would take about 30 seconds to run around the chapel as opposed to 7 minutes up in front of everybody.”

“Let me know when you plan to do that.” My friend responded. “I’ll be sure to skip Church that day.”

Rude reception

We went to visit some nice people I had met. They let us in and as we made introductions I noticed they did not bother to turn off or at least, silence the device they spent lots of time watching. 

We were seated on an open couch. I tried to talk over the noise and they would respond without looking at us. Soon they seemed less interested in any further conversation.

The reception probably should have been expected, but I was there to have them met my parents. I was getting more upset by the second. We had not gone there to watch TV.

Finally I announced we had other stops to make and we headed for the door. I want to recall that they at least showed us to the door but they might have just sat there and waved goodbye.

That may have been the last I ever spoke to them again.

Thankful for Black Friday at the Mall

Years ago I went with a roommate to Kentucky for Thanksgiving. I wasn't expecting Taiwanese to be the primary language. There was only one English channel programed into the TV.

I begged to be dropped off at the local mall on the Friday after Thanksgiving day. I spent most of the day window shopping.

‘”Ah, the craziness of this American tradition.” I smugly said to myself. “At least I know what is going on.”

TV a sedative

I went to visit a family who lived in the mid West of the United States at the time. I was there for a wedding. They were not the cleanest of people and I wished I had gotten a hotel room, but they were nice enough to put me up for the couple days I would be there.

One night I was watching TV with them. At first, I was just squirming around wondering what might be growing on the carpet or crawling around in the couch. I noticed they had gone into some kind of trance. I was tempted to get up and dance around but settled on waving my arms around. Nobody paid any attention to me.

I believe I observed this phenomenon when I was a kid. We’d be watching something and when the movie or show was over it was revealing to see new or fewer people in the room. I tried to pay more attention to my surroundings after that.

Anyway, I figured I'd try to lose myself in the TV program they were watching. Just to get my mind off the dirty house. Well, it worked. I was able to pass the time without squirming.

While I was there visiting, the mother was hospitalized for some reason I do not recall, but I do remember going with them to the hospital. There was this small TV set attached to an arm on the bed. I can still see them huddling around the screen.

This time when their eyes glazed over, I walked from one side of the bed, behind the TV to the other side and back again. I did this several times to get some kind of acknowledgment. They must have been super polite or too far gone, because no one even looked at me.

Boring life?

Recently a nurse was confirming information about me that they had in their computer system. "Looks like you are on only one medication." She said. "Is that correct?"

I frowned. I'm not convinced the medication is even doing much and got rather embarrassed. "Yes, ma'am."

"You are boring."

What? Boring? For not being medicated up the wazoo? I don't think so. I'm glad I'm not and more or less said so.

A couple questions later the nurse asked to verify that I did not smoke, drink, or do recreational drugs.

"Like you said ma'am, I must be boring."